Please know, I’m an advocate for breastfeeding. I’m fully aware of the benefits and would love nothing more than to be successful at it.
But for some people, it just can’t happen. And there are so many people who attack women who quit or opt out but, please know, I will never be one of them.
I honestly think some advocates take it to a personal level and cross lines that should not be crossed. This is hurtful. Especially when some mothers try their hardest and still “fail” (according to your standards).
With my first-born, I never produced enough of a supply, no matter what I tried (fenugreek, fennel tea, oatmeal, prescriptions)! I was forced to do partial breastfeeding and partial formula feedings. After three months, I had battled mastitis 6 times and was advised by my doctor to quit. Reluctantly, I did.
With my second- born, I was so determined that nothing was going to make me stop. Thankfully, this time around, I had a very abundant supply. I had so much that I was able to pump 10 ounces in between feedings just in the first three months. And my old friend mastitis kept returning so they had to keep prescribing different antibiotics because none of them were working. Again, the doctor says, you need to quit. I said, “No way. I’m going to do this! I’ll just have to deal with the pain and sickness because it’s not about me”. I sought help from a lactation consultant who gave me hope. Enter a clogged duct. Enter an abscess. Six months and 18 bouts with mastitis later, I had to quit. A year and a half later, I STILL have an abscess.
NO ONE can say I didn’t try, or I’m selfish, or I didn’t do everything I could have. So please advocates, back off of the women who say no to breastfeeding. Some of them wouldn’t choose this for themselves. But no matter what the reason, it doesn’t make them a bad mother. At the end of the day, I am more concerned with that child being loved whole-heartedly, escaping abandonment and abuse that so many children in our own culture suffer through daily.
Stop the cutting down and start the supporting of our fellow women…it does SO much more!